There was only one thing I was looking forward to with bed rest - and that was that Civilization IV was scheduled to come out just in time for me to spend the long months ahead wrapping myself in the game.

We got the game today, purchased two copies so that we could multiplayer, and my hsuband took the rest of the week off to play.

Civilization IV won't run on my less-than-a-year-old laptop. The terrain shows up black, making it impossible to see where I'm going, and the faces of the civilization leaders look like Cheshire cats, with eyeballs and teeth being the only visible body parts.

I've looked and posted on the CivFanatics forum and the Apolyton forum, and Firaxis is conspicuously absent from answering any posts regarding this issue, even though many many people seem to be having the problem. One person said he actually managed to get Firaxis tech support on the phone. Firaxis doesn't plan to fix it. Apparently my 64 meg video card doesn't meet the minimum system requirements since it doesn't support Transform & Lighting or pixel shading. WTF does a turn-based strategy game need T&L or pixel shading for? Civ III is not a game I played because it looks pretty - it's a game I played because it's FUN. This isn't Doom, Quake, or HalfLife, there's no great amount of 3D motion required - it's played on a flat wraparound map.

As another plagued user put it, "I don't need the bling."