Showing me a picture of plumber's butt is not going to do anything to improve my opinion of illegal immigrants.

Update: Hey, they changed the picture. I guess someone told them to cover up the crack. Is it shadowy journalism to change part of your article (i.e. a picture) after it's been published?

Boo is furious with the Easter Bunny.

This morning, Boo and Rich went out to gather Easter eggs. I thought I had hidden eleven, but only ten came back. Boo wanted to keep looking for the last egg, but we told him that the Easter Bunny probably just needed a snack while he was hiding his Easter eggs. Boo pitched a fit, demanding that he wanted his egg back.

I'm so looking forward to Easter next year. We had a difficult time getting Boo to sit in the Easter Bunny's lap for pictures - he said he'd rather wait until Santa Claus came back. With any luck, next year Boo will kick the bunny in the rubber parts.

Am I sleep deprived?

Last night I woke up to find myself hitting the snooze button to get Mudbug to stop fussing.

Questions kids ask

When a child walks up to you and asks you out of the blue, "Where did your baby come from?", the correct answer is, "Where did your mother tell you babies come from?"

This correct answer hit me about thirty seconds after being asked.

More teenage blackmail material.

Since we've all been sick forever, we have a large number of ear thermometer probe covers lying around the house. They look like this:


Boo has observed me pumping breastmilk for Mudbug with my Medela pump, whose breast shield looks like this:



He walked up to me with two probe covers stuck to his chest and announced that he was going to pump milk for Mudbug too. Such an act of love has never been shown by a big brother for a baby sister, I think.

"An Evening with Kevin Smith" is on, and he's discussing Chasing Amywith a lesbian who thinks it was a bad idea for Banky to make his "serious deep dicking" comment, while Smith is arguing that Banky was the movie idiot, and everyone should have recognized where the comment came from.

I bought my mom's partner a copy of Chasing Amy a few years ago, not because she's a lesbian or because I think it's a movie about lesbians, but because she liked Clerksand Mallrats. My mom ended up watching it. She's now convinced that Kevin Smith is quite the homophobe, and specifically mentioned that line when she was yelling at me for bringing that trash into her house. All I could respond was, "It's not a lesbian movie, and anyway, I didn't buy it for you."

And why doesn't the View Askew Store sell hockey jerseys with the number 37 on them?

TurboTax is lovely.

I was making some last-minute changes to our return, when I noticed that health insurance carried on the self-employed is tax-deductible. I put in the deduction (I am self-employed, I just don't bring in nearly the income I did when I held a desk job, and am carried on my husband's health insurance but we have to pay out the nose for it), then decided I should ask my neighbor, a tax attorney, if it was a legitimate deduction. He said no (since it was paid for with pre-tax dollars), so I went to remove the deduction. Went to deductions, all I could find were pages that said a deduction had been applied but no way to remove it. I sent a support question to TurboTax.

Their answer was to delete my return and start over.

Yay TurboTax! F%$^ing morons. Is this the answer they're going to give to some poor soul at 11:00 PM April 15?

Colorado Rapids vs. Houston 1836...er...Kansas City?

Why it's a bad idea to change your team name after announcing your moniker with much fanfare:



I guess the reason we...weren't playing at our peak was because we were saving up for the game against Kansas City later in the evening.

PPD or rose-colored glasses?

I'm not sure what's causing it, but I don't think I'm enjoying this baby (current nickname is Mudbug, thanks to her looking like a crawdaddy propped on Alton Brown's shoulder one day when I was burping her) as much as I did Boo.

It could be rose-colored glasses - I distinctly remember wanting to ship Boo back to wherever he came from about a week after he was born. It could have something to do with my in-laws moving from Colorado Springs to Oakland, so we don't have the immediate help available. It could be that I'm generally down during winter. It could be that I had all these fantastic expectations for a baby girl, but since I wasn't much into dressing up dolls as a child, it's not holding much appeal for me now, despite having gone out to buy $200 of pink clothes as soon as we found out Mudbug's gender. It could have something to do with the fact that, after having been on modified bedrest since October, and on full bedrest since Christmas, I expected to be able to get around better, but I have lost most of the muscle tone I had built up before the pregnancy, and it's a heck of a lot more effort trying to go places with two kids instead of one.

And it could have something to do with the fact that we've all been sick since Christmas with one bug or another - I think we've had a total of about two weeks that one of us hasn't been sick. Today it's me with strep and the flu. We've actually managed to use every dime of our cafeteria plan benefits in the last three months.